There was a time when I felt lonely I long for friends to talk to. It's a humane things to feel I believe. However given how my conversations tend to (eventually) take shape: serious-ish & profound-ish, social attention has become a privilege to me & never an entitlement. I don't expect anything but I do have few favorite people that I see as a caring, understanding bunch. I feel they get me & accepted me
but it's amazing how things unfold & can surprise us. Turned out these people, don't have the same idea about it as I assumed. They just want to be nice that's all, "ain't nobody got time for profound thoughts". And it's not their fault at all either. I just misunderstood.
But I couldn't help feeling bit upset. Because it took a lot for me to disclose things like what I've shared..to me it's very personal, maybe because of my reserved nature. Which led to a state of sadness and frustation when I realized the honest contents I've poured out has gone to waste at the other end. I remember feeling dejected when a friend texted asking how I was doing & stuffs- and as I was very happy & ready to connect further - the friend pulled the plug & bye-bye shortly after. Felt like being teased then ditched as things got real.lol.
But then one day I went to a cafe, and a stray cat was walking around. As I was dining alone I called the cat to come & play . It wasn't easy, the cat seemed uptight & sceptic at first but after a few pat & stroke (maybe some fried chicken bits too) she loosened up & turned snuggly purry friendly. In fact she remained happily tucked to my feet. Finally after I'm done with my meal I stood up to leave the table & there- the cat seemed alarmed & confused by me leaving her.
Then it hit me, I was doing the same tease then leave thing! to the cat!
Poor cat it must be terrible to be 'teased' by countless people that went eating there then losing them all shortly after, one by one right when she started to feel wanted.
Thanks cat for showing me this meowning. Of how life goes.
So, proceed with caution when wanting to get excited or happy or emotionally attached too much on any experience or reach ins'..because eventually these things can just tease you then leave, and end.
Unless you can handle it.