Im naturally drawn to learning more on interesting concepts about some subjects that i come across. Mostly things related to the fundamentals of human perception, philosophy, thought process etc. When an idea caught my attention the interest can easily snowballed from mere fascination to an appreciation. I have an affinity towards this area of knowledge, which is evident from my involvement history & my choice of reading material since early age. I simply believe it helps me understand myself better.
U know it- we dont yet fully understand something until we communicate the idea through. Only then the complete circle of experiencing something is achieved. But having the lack of people to talk to, i frequently resort to penning the idea down to blog entries and notes in my phone. Some of them got published, a lot wait as drafts- when im not quite done and awaiting new spark of ideas to continue (and push the storytelling to a closure/finish)
Whenever I pursue an understanding pertaining a specific idea, ill start to write as if it is a detailed transcript of a stimulating conversation between two or more parties that see the idea grow and from obscurity prunes into clarity. In my mind, it's almost like my speech text to of me communicating the idea through whenever the opportunity comes. When the previlege and luxury of meaningful discussion made available. That time when i met the audience that can welcome the content and treat it rightfully.
By now i've wrote quite a lot of these 'mental speeches'. I still wonder if i'll ever be granted the blessing of conversing them with understanding fellow(s). Trying to speak with cats or plants seems ineffective. Well until then i'll just continue with writing more because i can't stop thinking.
Sometimes i wonder if this is even healthy at all. I guess everyone nowadays have their own share of neurosis.
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