Sunday, June 28, 2015

Kazakhs connection 4

Time flies when you are having fun, or so they said.

I consciously & constantly realize that for each day that  passed, our 3 weeks time inch closer to an end. I guess I've never really mentally prepared for the closure, so by day 21 we were caught off guard. And again, oh the beautiful mixed feels.

The end felt heavy. In the past 3 weeks we've formed a rather special bond with the students. As  friends, as families. I believe Afiq, Anira & Ira might found the situation more difficult to dealt with, since in these 21 days they've let their guard down maybe too much & have involved deeper with the students as play mates- while l (being me) have maintained a distance between us to balance things up. For me instructors & TAs could not afford to be disillusioned (happens when you enjoy things too much) because it would affect your performance & compromise everything. So I did what I need to do. But no matter how composed & professional I appeared when dealing with the students, I felt it all inside. Ouchh.

So after an emotional farewell where tears rolled down from cheeks, hugs, selfies and exchange of gratitude & best wishes, the camp was finally over.

And immediately after that, the void was felt as our life reverted to 'normal'. No more morning rush to open the laboratory, no more anxious wondering how to keep the students interested, no more talking in English all the time. The laboratory that was then merry & happening is now empty. The students have went back to their home Kazakhstan.

I want to admit that I profoundly miss the 3 weeks. And right now I'm having the withdrawal syndrome for not being able to move on from the memories. The perks of being a hopeless nostalgic. The students left handwritten letters to sum up their whole experience in this camp with us, and everytime I read them I was taken aback into that exact moment all over again.

I miss the moments dearly because this whole camp thing has made me feel my self worth. I managed to keep up with the high expectations. The challenge & experience that it gave me was cathartic.

And I miss the camaraderie of my team too..Afiq,Anira & Ira. It was nice working with them & I learnt a lot about human dynamics from them. I hope they feel happy working with me too.

I miss the students because I feel that they liked me, they really liked me. And to have that group of people who appreciates you for who you are is the utmost blessing. You see, I don't have this previllege often.

Abylai, Madi, Assel, Inara, Moldir, Aigerim K, Aigerim, Aruzhan Y, Aruzhan K., Nargiz, Nurailym, Nurzhanna, Alina, Aidana, Akulpa, Akbike, Alma;

I wish you all the best for future endeavours. Pursue your passion whatever it is & keep your colorful personalities with you. Thanks for everything, I learnt a lot as much as you do. The chance for any of you to actually read this is next to zero, but who knows maybe one day? That's why I write this account in English.

I now have 17 extra reasons to visit Kazakhstan,
You are all my Kazakhstan connection.


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