Wednesday, April 23, 2014

currently


  1. Alhamdulillah I have turned 25 last April 1st. It was a Tuesday and lucky me my father was around from his outstation work trip in Port Dickson, so I have the opportunity to arrange a quick meet-up and have sort of a celebration with a family member. Actually it was just a nice simple dinner.
  2. My collagues and lab mates here in MGI have made a surprise birthday celebration for me. They've planned something fancy to get along with the idea, and guess what? They all wore a (what turned out to be) bib number on their shirt -which meants to emulate my passion for running. Written on the bibs were 0104 which was my birth date.I was ecstatic, I still am. They've went to that length to celebrate me and I really appreciate that..that was the best gestures friends have ever done for me.
  3. I hope I am more appreciative coming to a year older. I appreciate their efforts preparing the surprise but I was so surprised it left me lost for words and I acted awkward. I haven't experienced such warmth and love before..and I just stood there like a stone, smiling with short circuits in my brain. Cant have teary eyes because I think the tearducts has been blocked for ages.
  4. I am thankful for being blessed with thoughtful friends.
  5. being me, I actually have thought of something in mind that time around. I thought about being 25. Being quarter century. I was made aware that it's the time around where life predicaments and challenges would try you for real. I can just prepare and try to embrace life as a young adult.
  6. And boy it's not long before the challenges started to appear. And  it'd hit hard right smack in the middle. I got ditched on april 2nd, thru some texts messages. I really didn't see that coming. It's over after almost 4 years.
  7. The reasons were multiple. Anyways, I let her go.You can't force anyone to feel the same way you feels. Waiting is a hard thing for everyone. I've got some peace of mind because I was let know of the reason behind it.
  8. The situation is like in one of those tangled TV drama. I discovered that some of our mutual friends ( well I really thought they were my friends) has been advising her and sharing their opinions- which actually have discouraged her from staying any longer in the relationship. She and I were doing fine, but the relationship is as fragile and vulnerable as any long-distance relationship are. And she was a good girl with a good naive heart. It was sad that some friends just thinks they knew better and can decide the fate of our truce based from observation and judgement.
  9. I am not pointing fingers. While I admit my weaknesses I still believe (and hope) that friends should come to me too just as they did with the other pary,and offer advices and encouragement first - if they really want to help us, because we are all friends. That's how things should be interfered, instead of just taking sides , stipulate and just tell her to pull the plugs off. Which literally left me in the dark.
  10. Well they succeeded.And that really kills me. But I don't want to hold grudges or spend my time being offended.
  11. I guess that people take sides and that doesn't mean that they're are bad. I am just unfortunate and not deservant to have what I dreamt for.
  12. But what irritates me is the fact that while the relationship journey is still ongoing and living, some people just feels to have the power to jump in and decided that it's not right and brainwashed her to cut the ties. And plus, they're are our friends. 
  13. This were all due to the stigma that young adults, particularly women should get married around the age of 25+-. The latest is 26. By 27 they should already have a baby.
  14. While that's the best-case scenario and ideally dreamt by everyone, sometimes people requires some extra time to sort things out.
  15. Failure to do so within the time limit apparently will bust everything planned. Just like a product which has its fixed expiry date. The difference is just that the age-limit is not real, it is just a state of mind. 
  16. We live in the era where efforts- no matter how profound and dedicated it is, meant nothing before the desired outcome can be seen. Only the results that counts.
  17. I have saved quite significant amount money for that dream. And now it has been swept away and I don't think I'll be trusting anyone anymore.
  18. I'm planning to use the saving as capital to start up a bussiness or maybe just invest them.
  19. and send both my parents to Umrah/hajj.
  20. And also use them to travel even more.I will let my wanderlust leads me anywhere it wants to go.
  21. I have accepted the facts. And ready for more tribulations
  22. betrayal, and loss, are just part and parcel of life.
  23. but still,..
  24. This post keeps going just to reach number 25
  25. I always have a song for every occasion.

4 comments:

mizzbutterfly said...

lokman :) happy born day!!! selamat tambah satu umur :) nampak macam kau kecewa!!! to ALLAH we back :)

Seposen said...

Bila kita sudah dapat seseorang dan kita ingin melepaskan dia pergi.. Fikir kembali betapa susahnya kita mendapatkan hati si dia dulu.

Jika kita mengenal seseorang hanya untuk sementara, lebih baik tiada daripada ada.

Tetapkan dalam hati, iringi dengan doa atas tujuan untuk miliki dia selamanya.

InsyaAllah sama-sama menjaga hubungan, pasti berakhir dengan hubungan yang sah.

Dia mungkin minta untuk hentikan hubungan ni atas sebab tiada ikatan yg sah (baca:couple) yg mana obviously tak elok dan haram.

Ada duit yg dah kumpul kan? Ikat dulu dengan tali pertunangan. Atleast buat dia rasa kau serius.

Perempuan ni akan sampai satu tahap dia rasa kau tak serius bila kau takde TUNJUK kat dia yg kau tengah usahakan sesuatu. Walaupun sebenarnya kau tgh usahakan.

;)

lokman.keme said...

tq :)

lokman.keme said...

seposen-thanks.tp semua bg pandangan mcm tahu perkaranya sebenar camna.padahal takde yg tanya..fikir2 sendiri agak2 je kan.elokla,mindset tu la jgk yg bg kuasa kat diri sendiri jadi penasihat keputusan org lain.

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