Saturday, May 26, 2018

Tak Shia shia

Yo what’s up!
I was in a bad place mentally for the past couple of months.
Got some personal dilemmas that drained a lot of my chill then followed by Ramadan, possibly the time of the year where i felt the loneliest. Double whammy! Certainly not a pleasant thing to constantly be haunted by disagreement,discontention and feeling the crushing sense of loneliness. Shit is exeptionally hard to pinpoint let alone to shake off. As usual instead of distracting myself away I allow the darkness to consume me whole in order to understand the roots to the problems but everytime i just got swept away by the strange tidings of the mind. And ended up tired of everything.

Then one day while I was hurting in my confusion Shia Labeouf showed up and passionately screamed to me “JUST OWN IT! JUUUST OOWN IIITTT!!” then casually trotted away while stroking his beard like nothing happened.

At that moment I dawned upon me. The mental mess that I’m having right now is due to my undivided resistance to some of my reality. I (maybe too strongly) refuse to accept the polarity between my innate values right now and those of my blood lines for example, and dwelling a lot on my shortcomings. The perfectionist & expressionist part of me was at loggerheads with myself about embracing these less favorable details & criticized ideals about himself, in doing that I failed to see all the good stuffs i actually have and throw away my blessings which i should be very grateful about and appreciate.
Thanks my man Shia I’m gonna own them all.  I’ll try.

It’s Ramadan day 10- Still bored. Bored of waking up alone to phone alarm everyday to sahur alone,bored to settle for any simple edible thing because don’t feel like indulging to delicious food alone. Don't get any of the festivities excitement. Going through everyday motions, emotionless. Whats the point of all this. Koyak koo

OWN IT!!! Okay Shia I hear you

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