pick a vice

 why is device called device?

the word device now (I feel) is undisputedly and almost always associated with information & communication technology delivery vehicle ie. gadgets - like tablets, smartphones, TVs and computers everything else that give access to well, digital contents.

because vice as a base word itself means bad habit, weakness in character, or immoral/wicked behavior. Like addiction, greed, gluttony etc. And usually the prefix 'de' indicates an action of reversal or undo or like a downward motion . Like de-escalate or de-forestation or decrease etc.

But device makes the entry barrier to vices a lot lower, if at all. no?

Now people can get exposed to all kind of vices much easier, and  the fact that the hedonist & nihilist media peddling certain agendas force-feeding vices in all shapes or form through all device mediums didn't help at all.

I don't have the statistics but pretty sure that people pre-device have much less or simpler vices compared to when people all got these devices to access whatever.

just a rando post.

old enough

I recently watched 'Old Enough!' on Netflix, it's a Japanese reality series that documents toddlers, aged roughly 2 to 5, completing errands alone for the first time, all while being under supervision & recorded by camera crews in disguise along their journey.

I find the premise of show and the execution of it very interesting. Having a toddler of my own, I even imagined how mine would look like in the scenario. One time I even floated the idea to my wife - to set up one simple errand and to send our kid out for a quest, with all the candidates (relatives/neighbours) who could join as crews, the checkpoints along the route and what not. I would't say she's very amused with my pitch haha.

The lacklustre reception to my idea makes sense because there's significant cultural differences between Malaysia & Japan in terms of approach to child-rearing. Japanese puts more emphasise to and encourages early responsibility and self-sufficiency. And the fact that their crime rate is one of the lowest, on top of many other factors that characterise them as a society such as the neighborhood, policing, discipline, respect, and social harmony - all makes a safer environment for such experiment showcased in the tv show.

But I'm not giving up with my plans yet. Would be so cool if we get one done for the home videos collection, and show it to our kid when he's all grown up right? haha

motion sickness

2nd quarter of 2026.

time passes by really quickly, with everyday worldly pursuits, too often I was caught lacking to realise how precious time is.

I watched this short reels on social media about a character called Uncle Mike. After some digging I learnt that the clips were from a Japanese TV series titled The Solitary Gourmet. The story took salesman, Gorō Inogashira (a.k.a Uncle Mike) travelling through Japan for business meetings before becoming hungry and heading off to find a local restaurant to eat. He visits various restaurants and street booths to sample the local cuisine, with each chapter featuring a different place and dish. What's interesting to me is each restaurant visit and meal time portrayed as a personal revelation to Uncle Mike, starting with curiosity turning to fascination ended with appreciation. Uncle Mike took his time experiencing the restaurant he visited and dish ordered off the menu, sometimes even ordering seconds when it's that good.

These past year, I spent time on work probably more than ever, even doubling down by getting into part-time freelancing. I may be gaining in certain areas, but I am sure regressing in some other areas too. For example, I accumulate stress and have less disposable free time.

In the series, after a day's hard work Uncle Mike rewards himself by going food hunting that does not only nourishes his body but also rejuvenates his spirit. I aspire to slow down & take more time for more immersive experience like Uncle Mike, and enjoying simple pleasures of life- not just going through the motion of everyday every time.

sense

Not too long ago my toddler son was hospitalised for a week due to viral infection. Alhamdulillah by the end of it all was well and he made full recovery. 

For me & my wife, that was it was our first time dealing with such alarming experience. Must be more so for our kid. Seeing our son weak on the hospital bed, with high-flow nasal cannula and other sensors wired to him was utterly disheartening. I still remember how anxious I was whenever the vital monitor shows or beeps differently, and how desperate I was to make sure he got the best medical attention to the point I almost got into an altercation with one of the Paeds doctor. Then I realized - things that might make parents worried sick are perceived differently by Paeds doctors & nurses. While parents can be emotional, doctors & nurses are more methodical. To the Paeds, it's their everyday life, they've trained and experienced the same concerns 100000000 times. A lot of similar sick kid cases they need to attend to daily, while they try their best hospitals have limited resources. Every case is another number in the statistic. They've adjusted to it, they've become desensitised. 

In one of my previous job, to get to office I need to stroll from Pasar Seni station across the sheltered walkway over the Klang river. If you a re familiar with the place, beggars and the homeless are a common sight along the walkway. It's difficult for me especially when I just started working there, I felt a roller coaster of emotions everyday walking through the walkway. The beggars, the homeless -  they must be (or used to be) someone's loved ones, what's their hope and story, how they perceive and experience the world around them. One time, I saw one homeless, gaunt woman sitting by the walkway's railing and begging, with a small child on her lap sleeping. And another time, I saw an old homeless man begging while playing with his small kid both looking impoverished. These sights really messed me up and I felt a lump in my throat and had to turn away in guilt, because in my mind I actually saw the face of my own kid. The childhood experience and formative years for them is so different. It reminds me of how different can one's reality be, and the cards we are dealt with in life. But I realised over the days, weeks, and months I became less and less impacted by the same surrounding, while I am still empathetic and sympathetic, I am able to stay in my own lane and carry on. I've been adjusted to it, I've become desensitised.

The illegal occupation of Palestine by the apartheid state Zionist-Israel and the ongoing Genocide committed the apartheid state Zionist-Israel and its complicit allies have been going on since 1967. Jews and Israel are not the problem, the ethnocentric Zionist agenda and its Hasbara propaganda are. I still remember many years ago when I first learned about this from the news, I felt so conflicted and overwhelmed due to the fact that in the global scheme of things true justice for Palestine seems unattainable. There was a point where I am constantly bothered by this and feeling the anguish from the atrocities. Fast forward to now with all the things going on with my personal life, all the casualty updates and news from Gaza seems to be drowned in the many things that are competing for my attention. I am now used to seeing the reports from Gaza in my feed. I've been adjusted to it. I've become desensitised.

to me having sensitivity towards an interest/cause/something , is certainly good because that shows it is meaningful enough for us to feel strongly about, to champion and to be protective about.

I don't want to be desensitised because I believe it's losing one part that makes us human.

Fortunately we can work to sensitise things back up. 

Pulse check

First entry for 2025 to ping that this blog is still alive. Next month is 2026 already!

tidak kosong

Recently I had my first engagement with a CFA (Certified Financial Planner). They rendered a list of services- can be financial diagnostics, consultation and action recommendations. I got more interested in personal finance, retirement & estate planning and figured better to get some expert help to navigate this because I have limited resources & it's easy to get overwhelmed by all the details, and get FOMO fever whenever a new bull run picks up . Key things discussed were general financial health gauge, under/overinsured check, retirement planning, and Wasiat preparation. One takeaway is - "Don't jeopardize what you already have in pursuit of something lesser known".


I am a sentimental dude towards my old memories during collegiate & varsity days. I identified why I'm feeling so -  because (1) I experienced many memorable things in a group back then compared to now, and (2) I no longer made close group of friends like I have back then. Two unreplicable things. I understand that's just how life is, but man feeling feeeels. This whole blogsphere is a time capsule and captures vestiges of carefree younger days, when stress level was zero compared to adulthood. I got a glimpse of younger Keme from earlier postings, and in some instance I can still get secondhand embarrassment kahh. Today I blogwalk (that's what we used to call it) to blogs of old friends - don't know what I expect to find. But in the un-updated blog, laid bare snapshots of the persons that I used to know from a time where all our paths runs together. Some blog url returns - "The blog has been removed" and a sense of sadness hits me. I pray for everyone to have a blessed life.

Tomorrow I'll have a hospital appointment for an MRI scan. I've been on regular physio visit to nurse this sports injury since last year and while progress was made, total recovery is compromised because the injury is at a mobile area that is impossible to rest completely. Hopefully after the scan I can pinpoint the specific issue to come up with improved rehab plan & figure alternative recreational activities I can pursue. Ah, life in the mid 30s, body starts declining without active care & require maintenance.

 

My kid is growing up fast. He's a fresh human being, a clean slate. I as a parent must instill good core values and foundations as his 'preset', so that he's not 'empty'. Else, other unregulated forces will fill the void. With the correct preset he'll be able to filter & thwart off malicious influences in life. For that, I must first not be 'empty'. I must step up with the occasion, and know better, so that I can show him by example.

 

I saw one Denzel Washington interview where he said "1st part of your life is to learn, 2nd part you earn, 3rd part you return". The 'return' part can be interpreted as giving back, or the final return to the Maker. Anyway, good stuff.

coffee & soap

Small percentage of people taste cilantro/coriander as soapy.

from Google: Coriander's flavour profile is made up of several different chemicals (most of them aldehydes), some of which have a distinctive 'soapy' flavour. It's thought that people with the 'soapy' OR6A2 receptor gene variant can detect these soapy chemicals, while those without that particular gene variant cannot.

I am one of them, by now I can manage.

after living the coffee drinker life (exclusively Latte & Americano, no sweetener) throughout my working life I now feel like I dislike coffee. Because to be honest, I cannot recall any moment where I drink it & say "Good drink". It's hardly pleasurable. No joy sparked for me. No matter how long I swish swash in my mouth for my tastebuds to feel. I felt the stimulant aftereffect, and receive the aroma of brewed coffee better. But not the case with the taste.

Because I saw videos & also have many friends who drank Americano/espresso describing it as delicious.

'Delicious' to me reserved to the likes of Lasagna or Shepherds Pie, or Mee Kari or  Laksa or Beef Burgers.

I must be lacking the genes for the delicious coffee receptors.

I'm not talking about the many types of coffee based drinks which is frankly liquid desserts.

 

Onboarding

 

It's Q3 2024 already (if your FY is Jan-Dec)

While my year has not concluded I can already summarize it in one aspect.
Onboarding year.

In December 2023 I changed jobs & joined a new organisation in the Retail industry with the largest furniture company.
I went through the typical 6 months probation/onboarding for new hires-
where HR inducted me to the 8 core values & introduced other formalities,  Ashley delegated me interesting tasks & looped me into projects,
my assigned buddy Colin helped me settle down. Made more Digital co-worker friends; Jason, Sue Ann, Nhi, KJ, Justin, the Insight guys etc. Went for lunch daily with the crews. I experienced Front Days where I got to be AFK for 3 days to join store co-workers selling during peak days.The company policy inhibits PTO utilisation during probation so I had to soldier through the longest unbreakable working stretch I ever had. But it’s good environment & spirit was high. A forward-dated confirmation letter was issued by HR. Approaching my probation completion date, in response to market challenges- a business restructuring exercise was announced where my entire team was part of the casualty. My first taste of a career upset after escaping couple of layoffs through my work history.

I was out of work by the time my onboarding completed.

I immediately pursued a low hanging fruit opportunity and secured new role by mid year.
And now in another 6 months onboarding cycle with the national courier.
Going through HR inductions and learning their 6 core values, trying to make new work friends, learning the job/business, the whole shebang.
Part of the onboarding experience was the 'check ride' where we tagged along in delivery vans sending parcels to customer addresses -  very interesting.
So far I feel like the work-life balance here is better. But I realize it's still too early to tell.
I am more cautious of any attachment with the workplace as the Tech job market is harder to read & job security is myth now.
It has become more a popular approach for corporations to let go staff as an immediate way to bring down operation cost and register profit.
In consultant-speak :trimming, getting lean, combining cost centers, etc.

Two unplanned onboarding cycles in a year.

If there's Onboarding fatigue, I'm probably having it.

While I am appreciative of having a job at times it feels like a drag and I need to psyche myself up to work another day.
There are moments I'm even counting days for retirement- 20 odd years to go (if I make it).
But post-retirement is another beast of its own. No way of telling how ours will be.

Recently I saw someone write: The salary is the monthly subscription company pays for services you rendered to them.
Apt way to put it!

outdoor

feels at home

Kalau ditanya kawan2 yang dah mengenali aku sebelum tahun 2019 apa satu aktiviti untuk describe aku ni, barangkali 'gunung/berlari' tu antara jawapan ramai. Sebab pada waktu tu banyak masa diluang kepada dunia outdoor ni, sehingga bukan sekadar hobi tapi seolah jadi identiti. Lingkungan kawan dapat dari aktiviti outdoor ni pun ramai.
Jadi mana taknya every now and then,aku teringat dunia outdoor yang telah begitu lama ditinggalkan sejak pasca Covid ni. Terkenang macam-macam memori.

Termasuklah cerita ini.

Sewaktu kenduri kahwin aku (belah keluarga isteri), seperti kebiasaannya undangan adalah mendahulukan belah tuan majlis. Jadi tak semua kawan-kawan aku dijemput waktu ini, termasuklah dari lingkungan outdoor.

Sewaktu kenduri ketika sesi jemputan dipelawa bergambar bersama pengantin diatas pelamin, tibalah giliran Win & Nab yang aku tak kenal time ni. Pasangan muda ni kawan rapat isteri. Macam biasa - adalah bertukar ucapan ringkas tahniah & terima kasih. Tiba-tiba Win tanya "So ada buat outdoor ke?"

Disebabkan aku tak kenal Win ni, aku hairan macam mana dia boleh tanya macam tu. Adakah kami pernah on trek sama-sama dalam mana-mana trip gunung? Atau kami pernah berjiran campsite sebelum ni? Ke dalam group whatsapp outdoor/friends di socmed? Adakah sebab dia perasan jam Garmin Fenix yang aku sedang pakai? Atau isteri aku yang ceritakan?

Walau apa pun, sukalah hati ini berjumpa kawan sekepala sama minat.Lalu aku sambut pertanyaan Win dengan teruja. "Ada, plan2 jugak, tapi sekarang musim monsoon so taman negara/hutan simpan masih tutup lagi. Banyak pergi bukit-bukit yang boleh daytrip je sekarang, nak masuk hutan lama-lama pergi gunung jauh-jauh tak sempat masa. Ada trip ke?" reply aku.

Win tak sempat menjawab kerana ada tetamu lain dah naik nak bergambar bersama pengantin. Iyalah, nak borak berdiri lama-lama atas pentas ni tak sesuai. Bila aku pandang muka Win masa aku jawap tadi nampak dia seolah terpinga-pinga & blur- mungkin lepasni akan cari dia sambung borak.

Akhirnya majlis selesai, isteri pesan jangan tukar persalinan sebab akan ada sesi bergambar lepas ni- "pergi buat outdoor" katanya.

Ya Tuhann. Baru aku sedar yang Win sebenarnya tanya pasal photoshoot outdoor tadi. Patutlah aku boleh nampak raut muka dia berubah melalui fasa-fasa kehairanan sambil memproses reply aneh yang takda kaitan dengan apa yang dia tanya. Apalah yang dia fikir. Astaga.

Fast forward, sekarang Win & Nab jadi kawan rapat kami dan sering bertandang ke rumah. Anak kami pun berkawan. Tapi sampai sekarang aku tak bangkitkan lagi kisah outdoor ni. Mungkin dia lupa; atau dia tak nak aibkan aku hahah. Buat hal lahh.

Ephemeral

It has been almost one year since my father in law passed away due to cardiac arrest. Arwah Abah; as we fondly call him- was a loving man, a caring member in family circles, a patient father to his 5 children, a steadfast practicing Muslim disciplined with his deeds, and a nurturing senior to fellow younger staffs at work. Many stories about his kindness came to light only after his abrupt departure, shared by his friends & colleagues.  Huge turnout during the funeral- which the family didn't expect to be honest because Arwah was not the extroverted social kind and furthermore it was late night & raining during the burial. So it’s apparent the impression he has left to many people. Abah worked in University where he has enabled many students in their studies. Makes me contemplate about the ephemeral nature of life.

Only way to leave a lasting impact is to do memorable kindness to others.

 

 

calculate

real-time snapshot of thoughts for future self reflection : 22/9/2023

(Material aspect are important, just like other non-material aspects are important.)

I read that one key to building wealth and remain contended amidst assault of the market is the ability to delay gratification.

That is, the self-control to stave off wants and having mindfulness to prioritise needs.

Delay gratification until the fruit of labor is ripe & ready for harvest.

To understand the bigger picture, prepare plans to manage risks and approach goals with good old discipline+patience.

As earnings increase, you will feel that you deserve to spend more because you work hard to afford it.

That is not a viable reason I feel, because ‘more’ is infinite and if appetite & impulse are the masters where does it stop? 

how much premium/high-tier/convenient/comfortable can be enough?

Consumerism is rife now and it preys on people who are a sucker for instant pleasure. 

People are dealing with lots of stressors from daily life and spending is branded as therapeutic.

Perhaps a better consideration is to think and plan for the spending to be as a reward when a substantial goal is achieved. As opposed to, tendency to splurge whenever you feel times are rough so you get surge of happiness from buying things..and escape reality for a moment. The idea is to celebrate, not escape your life events and chances are you’ll enjoy it more too. But I’m not gonna put a number for how many trips per year is right. Travel as much as you can. Life is but a sequence of fleeting moments and understandably people value things differently.

And remember for all our blessings and rezeki, in it contains portions for others too.

The increase in your resources means you are in a better position to help people in your life.

You are where you are now can be attributed to all the kind help and opportunities that many people extended to you throughout your journey since birth. So never think you yourself made all this.

Spread kindness and do good always, touch people’s lives by helping and foster genuine lasting relationships because the greater the impact of our good deed that people appreciate, the longer we will live.

is about to take a calculated risk. but how good am I in maths again?

My mind suddenly recalled an old music- Sungai Lui by Aizat Aidan.

I have not listened to it for so many years

It's a timeless song, the line that particularly relevant to me in current phase of life is

"Adakah semua ini yang ku inginkan, ataupun tanya mengejar dunia semata-mata?"

on proportionality

Covid lockdown has been has been going on for an effective 16 months, granted there's been occasional relaxation but lives were forever altered. Experiences altered.

People were kept apart from their loved ones due to movement restrictions, couldn't visit family and friends for so many months is brutal, cooped up within walls, not able to socialize with circles, not able to travel or have their way with their favorite pastime. Not being able to fully explore options and take chances.

Imagine how kids & students whose supposedly on a their formative days and developmental phase fare in these pandemic times.

For adults there might be financial stressors as well, job losses, pay cuts, failing business, overdue commitments, shrinking savings. Uncertainties. Not to mention external turmoil that can add grim outlook to things.

Losses of loved ones and friends due to covid are another big stressors. Even grieving process is altered making hard for people to deal with the unprepared demise of people who are dear.

I mean, these are the stabilizers for people's soundness. I believe if there's an index that measure Rakyat's stress levels it would be so high right now. 

High stress level among people is one thing that can be attributed to rising incidence of domestic cases(not necessarily domestic violence) as reported in mainstream media recently. When two people both have been bottling up so much personal stress live together, friction are bound to happen. If not managed wisely (which can be the case when stress compromise mental soundness) any domestic disputes can flare up to bigger issues. Snowballed. Escalated. People lose sight of the true situation and not seeing resolution as shared goal.

I am just laying it all out here man just because.

Here I am trying to make sense why my partner's intrepretation and reaction to some of my remarks are so disproportionate like no spectrum straight to the extremes Haha. One way to explain is from the built-up lockdown stress. Take refuge in understanding.

woopdeedoo

As of the date this post was written, the world is still braving the pandemic with mixed results- one step forward two steps back. Then proceeds confidently to cartwheel and somersault before got hit by a truck. Figuratively.

For the second year, people were forced to live differently or face the dreadful risk of contracting next new strain of the virus. Latest one is one nasty variant codenamed Delta. Pathogens has been and will always be playing catch with mankind.

Bleak economic forecast, restrictions in activity impacts the economic machinery and the effect is deep...badly widen the already skewed wealth gap and in principal shrink purchasing power of the masses. 

Social and physical isolation can break spirits. Missing dear family and friends.

I have peers who shared grim stories of staring death in the face because of covid and its complications, and I also know people who were gone too soon..succumbed to the virus. 

I too, realized the tension growing inside from mundane routine coupled with long hours of remote working and cooped up in a pigeon hole as a place to live.

This narrative is not the most coherent piece lol. Thats what I get for a lousy job committing to this blog. But I'll try to make time.

A lot of things that can be seen in negative light. It takes some effort to be optimistic and hopeful in these challenging times. Hope to maintain headspace in correct place and put things into the right perspective.

In the times of uncertainties, conserve.

a year so nice they named it twice

 Hi, 

 

I have not blogged anything yet this year. What a disservice to this valued space. And whatever happened in 2015 that made me spill so much? This trend should be inspected further..

Anyway before the year ends I'll try to reflect 2020 in a single post.

Altough it is not entirely according to plan, it's eventful and I think I adulted so hard. In 2020 i changed neighborhood during lockdown, switched jobs during lockdown, covid hits so cooped up & missed my dear family and friends, received keys to my 1st house & experienced the home owner dilemmas, all while prepping to get hitched and settle down. When leaving my previous job for a new one I actually arranged a gap month to chase down some long overdue bucket list, but all plans were halted by lockdown unfortunately. 

Finances took a good beating, more like being suckerpunched by all that happened this year. But I believe that's what savings are meant for, to be used eventually for things that matters when the moment arrives. Glad to have some safety nets though it was not a lot it provided some much needed cushion. Now to rebuild from what's left, and strategize better with new phase of life. Financial literacy & management is a strong theme in adulthood, but i dont want it to be all i am thinking about. Still finding the sweet spot.

Some unfinished business has been an annoying drag. How I wish to get a clean break from my previous workplace & move on. But it is how it is, escalation is inevitable. One thing I learnt from this episode was- people will take advantage of you only if you allow them to.

Many are suffering because of disrupted economy & the domino effects, people losing jobs & stuck with uncertainties. Such circumstances can be depressing & crush spirits. I truly realize that how I am no better than them, it can easily be me in those tough position if not for some twist of fate, opportunities that universe have granted me. So while I will do my best to show my gratitude for the rizq, remember to try to extend help in ways possible. Let us live as supportive society that takes care of our community. 

That's all. Happy new year!

Atas

Recently I joined a small group of acquaintances I newly met to a 'business dinner'. A weird series of events landed me in that spot. They were all C level professionals, boss positions. The experience mingling around with such 'atas' group happens very rarely, hence uncommon to me, so i got extra mindful of things to see so that i can (hopefully) tactly react.

First is the things they talked about...were proper BFM-esque (if you listen to the radio u'll get the idea), even their 'small talk' is not absolutely small.

Second is the kind of humor they enjoy (it's mostly about tactful comments relating to a subject, plus clever word play and vocabs and expressions), the kind of humor that definitely requires some background knowledge and considerable commad in English to understand in order to find them amusing.

I think I managed to fare pretty well and reciprocate the social energy in the room. One thing that interest me most was; for a group of people that earn a lot (minus yours truly lah) - they eat so little! The spread on the dining table were modest albeit the high price point, must be the quality idk. Portion of food was smaller than average in normal place i frequent to eat. Come to think of it, they lead pretty active lifestyles too, gym, yoga, etc. So there were rich people that owns excess wealth but woke to see through temptations and exercise self control to be in good shape. And i find the display of moderation despite high purchasing power very inspiring.

Afterall, the goal is to be rich, not to look rich. Really rich people whose also rich in values and substance doesn't just unnecessarily flaunt their wealth for show or get easily enslaved by their primal desires to follow consumerism agendas and needing validation from strangers.

I remember Syed Mokhtar Al-Bukhary said in an interview that went along the line of "We can only eat so much food, we can only perceive so much pleasantries as our senses allow us with food or other materials, that kind of pursuit for indulgence will never ends furthermore more often than not, it skews one's priorities..which is not right."

So yeah.

Death

Couple of days before this video came out I had similar thought about life in my normal dosage of routine existensial pondering and such. And during that wondering I also thought about what's there when we die.

Subject like the idea of an afterlife where one will reap what he/she sows is basically the foundation of the lifestyle in religious teachings which believers live by, in hopes for a happy eternal ending- u do good then u get good and vice versa. I have to admit I'm not the strongest believer. I question things a lot and not convinced by the answers I get. However I find the better part in religious teachings (excluding some inhibiting matters where I have qualms ) are morally good and healthy and can serve as a code of conduct to instill some order and harmony in life, without one life's gonna be a unsettling filthy unhappy mess. That's pretty much why I do what I do.

We die 3 deaths, First is when heart stops and brain ceases to function. Second is when our name is said for the last time. Third is when the last person with the memory of us dies.

These ideas are very spiritual, without being bounded to any religious notation. And I subscribed to them closely. In all simplicity, be kind and do good deeds to people when we live so that when we no longer walks this earth, the memories and thoughts about us still echoes in the universe and in a way- we live forever.

So when I saw this video of  Keanue answering the question "What do you think happens when we die?". It hits home. Right in the feels.

unlearning acquired taste

sometime earlier this year when parents came over, my siblings & i had to pick a place for family dinner. My bro as the most familiar person with the hood suggested a place and i naturally question whether it's good enough. My bro quipped the place's just fine and " kalau nak cari yang sedap2 bagi abang ni susah".

That remark stayed with me, prompting an internal probe. Admittedly like most people I have my fair share of fussiness when it comes to food & all but is there anything too peculiar with my taste?

After some reading I came upon the term 'Acquired Taste'. [Google definition:] An acquired taste is an appreciation for something unlikely to be enjoyed by a person who has not had substantial exposure to it. One's liking and preference in a certain matter (food, clothing, or experiences in general) got skewed towards a certain way it's offered among all it's categorical alternatives. Often it's being associated with the learning of like the 'finer' things in life to the point that 'lower-tier' options no longer satiating. Acquired taste does not necessarily equals to heightened taste or higher price-point, but in most cases i believe the term is used to describe that. One example is : improvements in quality of life enable oneself to afford things in higher price point, subsequently he/she got accustomed to the experience it brings and no longer wants the 'cheaper' options.
And that's what i think I had. Acquired tasted in several higher tier stuffs.
Next thing i think is- How to unlearn acquired taste?
Because I figured if I can manage with the cheaper foods from warongs and clothings from bundle back when I was younger (and earn less), i can surely revert back and free up more money for savings. Afterall I vowed to live life by the concepts of minimalism, these are the kind of ideals that I'm supposed to click in.

So everyday since is a conscious decision making. Unlearning acquired taste.

ichi/shi

Come April, I transcend to a new phase of life- the coveted 30!

Reflecting on life's hits and misses, mentally calculating what's ahead, and
being the fundamentalist when it comes to embracing changes I continue to renew perspectives in
the role of a men.

Recently I finished a book written by infamous Frank Abagnale. Started reading it for a completely different reasons but auspiciously I came to a remark from him that left a profound impression, a timely point as I arrive on my coming of age.

Frank shares what to him, what it truly is to actually be a man.
Verbatim:

It's absolutely have nothing to do with money, achievements, skills, accomplishments, degree, professions, positions, A real man loves his wife, a real man is faithful to his wife, a real man- next to God and his country, puts his wife and children as the most important thing in his life. I've done nothing more rewarding, nothing more worthwhile, nothing that actually brought me more peace, joy and more happiness and more content in my life than simply be a good husband, a good father and what I strive to be everyday- a great daddy.

 A real man, is a family man.

uno 2k19

Boom first write up 2019! 
three months in and only now i managed to muster some juice to come and yap hahaha. Having twitter and instagram sure offloads a lot of expression outta here, but this blog has always been a dear really intend to keep it, as diary, or time capsule, until Google decided to discontinue or kill the platform like they eventually will to their aged products.

So what's up first quarter 2019?
It has been eventful,

1. got into convoluted situation with one of my fairly new but very close acquaintance, my conscience was put in a tough spot. When I was at the center of it I felt so strongly and dragged myself into a mess. But now all sorted it out, we cool. I let it be because to each their own- we all living our own plotlines.
2. I was seeking new job. Sent out one inquiry to a company helmed by one of Malaysia's towering corporate figure which I personally looked up to (hint: ex-ceo of AAX). Got called up to an interview. Felt the heat. We conversed about work, had further exchange through email over some time. Then syukur, I got offered the job! signed the contract! Gonna be a change of pace Lokman, from tranquil Cyberjaya to bustling KL right smack in Hartamas set to begin after my requested transition period of 2 months end.
3. Aaaaand two weeks later, I turned down the offer, a U-turn; reverted the countersigned contract. Had to, due to reasons. But I'll take the experience as a gain still. I think I fared well and managed the whole situation fine, deserve a pat in the back for how I carry (sell) myself. The CEO accepted & were not too upset about it & I am not blacklisted pheww. He mentioned that "hope our path will cross in the future".
4. After that I discovered an opportunity in Cyberjaya, a casual data-entry job that pays decently but the shift is nocturnal- 12am to 8am. I think I could use some excess money so I applied, got called up to the interview which is not as as easy as I expected. And I got accepted!
5. So it begins. I attempted 80-hours work week as Elon Musk said is the recipe to transform the world. In my case it's my financial world i guess. 12am to 8am i'll be working at my night job, then 9.30am to 6.30am i'll be working dayjob. Both require me to just sat in front of computer, both are located in Cyberjaya- I can slot in enough sleep. I figured this would work.
6. Aaaaaand after one month I resigned. It started to feel unhealthy, I struggled to find time to do things that I love, and during weekends I just want to sleep. I got so tired I microsleep whilst on the wheels and that's the wake up call. So I quit and use the month's paycheck to buy myself new iphoneX because the old ipSE's broken beyond repair. Still winning.
7. I learnt more about working in a team. Always new dimensions to discover. Learnt more about my family too, about my parents and siblings. I know some might find this peculiar, but not all families are naturally tight-knit like model family and that's okay. 

So that's all for now. Stayed on with my old job. Trying out things.
And i got lucky found myself a girlfriend! bye!