Atas

Recently I joined a small group of acquaintances I newly met to a 'business dinner'. A weird series of events landed me in that spot. They were all C level professionals, boss positions. The experience mingling around with such 'atas' group happens very rarely, hence uncommon to me, so i got extra mindful of things to see so that i can (hopefully) tactly react.

First is the things they talked about...were proper BFM-esque (if you listen to the radio u'll get the idea), even their 'small talk' is not absolutely small.

Second is the kind of humor they enjoy (it's mostly about tactful comments relating to a subject, plus clever word play and vocabs and expressions), the kind of humor that definitely requires some background knowledge and considerable commad in English to understand in order to find them amusing.

I think I managed to fare pretty well and reciprocate the social energy in the room. One thing that interest me most was; for a group of people that earn a lot (minus yours truly lah) - they eat so little! The spread on the dining table were modest albeit the high price point, must be the quality idk. Portion of food was smaller than average in normal place i frequent to eat. Come to think of it, they lead pretty active lifestyles too, gym, yoga, etc. So there were rich people that owns excess wealth but woke to see through temptations and exercise self control to be in good shape. And i find the display of moderation despite high purchasing power very inspiring.

Afterall, the goal is to be rich, not to look rich. Really rich people whose also rich in values and substance doesn't just unnecessarily flaunt their wealth for show or get easily enslaved by their primal desires to follow consumerism agendas and needing validation from strangers.

I remember Syed Mokhtar Al-Bukhary said in an interview that went along the line of "We can only eat so much food, we can only perceive so much pleasantries as our senses allow us with food or other materials, that kind of pursuit for indulgence will never ends furthermore more often than not, it skews one's priorities..which is not right."

So yeah.

Death

Couple of days before this video came out I had similar thought about life in my normal dosage of routine existensial pondering and such. And during that wondering I also thought about what's there when we die.

Subject like the idea of an afterlife where one will reap what he/she sows is basically the foundation of the lifestyle in religious teachings which believers live by, in hopes for a happy eternal ending- u do good then u get good and vice versa. I have to admit I'm not the strongest believer. I question things a lot and not convinced by the answers I get. However I find the better part in religious teachings (excluding some inhibiting matters where I have qualms ) are morally good and healthy and can serve as a code of conduct to instill some order and harmony in life, without one life's gonna be a unsettling filthy unhappy mess. That's pretty much why I do what I do.

We die 3 deaths, First is when heart stops and brain ceases to function. Second is when our name is said for the last time. Third is when the last person with the memory of us dies.

These ideas are very spiritual, without being bounded to any religious notation. And I subscribed to them closely. In all simplicity, be kind and do good deeds to people when we live so that when we no longer walks this earth, the memories and thoughts about us still echoes in the universe and in a way- we live forever.

So when I saw this video of  Keanue answering the question "What do you think happens when we die?". It hits home. Right in the feels.

unlearning acquired taste

sometime earlier this year when parents came over, my siblings & i had to pick a place for family dinner. My bro as the most familiar person with the hood suggested a place and i naturally question whether it's good enough. My bro quipped the place's just fine and " kalau nak cari yang sedap2 bagi abang ni susah".

That remark stayed with me, prompting an internal probe. Admittedly like most people I have my fair share of fussiness when it comes to food & all but is there anything too peculiar with my taste?

After some reading I came upon the term 'Acquired Taste'. [Google definition:] An acquired taste is an appreciation for something unlikely to be enjoyed by a person who has not had substantial exposure to it. One's liking and preference in a certain matter (food, clothing, or experiences in general) got skewed towards a certain way it's offered among all it's categorical alternatives. Often it's being associated with the learning of like the 'finer' things in life to the point that 'lower-tier' options no longer satiating. Acquired taste does not necessarily equals to heightened taste or higher price-point, but in most cases i believe the term is used to describe that. One example is : improvements in quality of life enable oneself to afford things in higher price point, subsequently he/she got accustomed to the experience it brings and no longer wants the 'cheaper' options.
And that's what i think I had. Acquired tasted in several higher tier stuffs.
Next thing i think is- How to unlearn acquired taste?
Because I figured if I can manage with the cheaper foods from warongs and clothings from bundle back when I was younger (and earn less), i can surely revert back and free up more money for savings. Afterall I vowed to live life by the concepts of minimalism, these are the kind of ideals that I'm supposed to click in.

So everyday since is a conscious decision making. Unlearning acquired taste.

ichi/shi

Come April, I transcend to a new phase of life- the coveted 30!

Reflecting on life's hits and misses, mentally calculating what's ahead, and
being the fundamentalist when it comes to embracing changes I continue to renew perspectives in
the role of a men.

Recently I finished a book written by infamous Frank Abagnale. Started reading it for a completely different reasons but auspiciously I came to a remark from him that left a profound impression, a timely point as I arrive on my coming of age.

Frank shares what to him, what it truly is to actually be a man.
Verbatim:

It's absolutely have nothing to do with money, achievements, skills, accomplishments, degree, professions, positions, A real man loves his wife, a real man is faithful to his wife, a real man- next to God and his country, puts his wife and children as the most important thing in his life. I've done nothing more rewarding, nothing more worthwhile, nothing that actually brought me more peace, joy and more happiness and more content in my life than simply be a good husband, a good father and what I strive to be everyday- a great daddy.

 A real man, is a family man.

uno 2k19

Boom first write up 2019! 
three months in and only now i managed to muster some juice to come and yap hahaha. Having twitter and instagram sure offloads a lot of expression outta here, but this blog has always been a dear really intend to keep it, as diary, or time capsule, until Google decided to discontinue or kill the platform like they eventually will to their aged products.

So what's up first quarter 2019?
It has been eventful,

1. got into convoluted situation with one of my fairly new but very close acquaintance, my conscience was put in a tough spot. When I was at the center of it I felt so strongly and dragged myself into a mess. But now all sorted it out, we cool. I let it be because to each their own- we all living our own plotlines.
2. I was seeking new job. Sent out one inquiry to a company helmed by one of Malaysia's towering corporate figure which I personally looked up to (hint: ex-ceo of AAX). Got called up to an interview. Felt the heat. We conversed about work, had further exchange through email over some time. Then syukur, I got offered the job! signed the contract! Gonna be a change of pace Lokman, from tranquil Cyberjaya to bustling KL right smack in Hartamas set to begin after my requested transition period of 2 months end.
3. Aaaaand two weeks later, I turned down the offer, a U-turn; reverted the countersigned contract. Had to, due to reasons. But I'll take the experience as a gain still. I think I fared well and managed the whole situation fine, deserve a pat in the back for how I carry (sell) myself. The CEO accepted & were not too upset about it & I am not blacklisted pheww. He mentioned that "hope our path will cross in the future".
4. After that I discovered an opportunity in Cyberjaya, a casual data-entry job that pays decently but the shift is nocturnal- 12am to 8am. I think I could use some excess money so I applied, got called up to the interview which is not as as easy as I expected. And I got accepted!
5. So it begins. I attempted 80-hours work week as Elon Musk said is the recipe to transform the world. In my case it's my financial world i guess. 12am to 8am i'll be working at my night job, then 9.30am to 6.30am i'll be working dayjob. Both require me to just sat in front of computer, both are located in Cyberjaya- I can slot in enough sleep. I figured this would work.
6. Aaaaaand after one month I resigned. It started to feel unhealthy, I struggled to find time to do things that I love, and during weekends I just want to sleep. I got so tired I microsleep whilst on the wheels and that's the wake up call. So I quit and use the month's paycheck to buy myself new iphoneX because the old ipSE's broken beyond repair. Still winning.
7. I learnt more about working in a team. Always new dimensions to discover. Learnt more about my family too, about my parents and siblings. I know some might find this peculiar, but not all families are naturally tight-knit like model family and that's okay. 

So that's all for now. Stayed on with my old job. Trying out things.
And i got lucky found myself a girlfriend! bye!