random access memory

I went on to see one of my fav band played a special farewell show for one of its members thats going to depart from the quartet, to pursue other life directions. I was bummed by that but I guess some things in life just cannot coexist, tough decisions gotta be made. But theres always hope in future. Anyway in their last time together they really put up hell of a display, really gave their all. During the final song, they really put so much heart into it that the vibe can be felt in the room- while smashing every notes flawlessly and submitting themselves to the sound to become somewhat beasts with instruments that night, i can see tears rolling down their cheek.
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While I was in Ipoh and wandering aimlessly along Memory lane, my attention was caught by a street musician playing flute. The setup was simple, just the guy standing very still, albeit it was night time he wore black glasses and with his flute filling the air the smooth sweet tune of melancholy. Yes, the tune was beautiful but it touches my heart in a gloomy way. I was fixated right there to the experience like how the guy seemed to be very absorbed in his tune. Because behind his shades I noticed his furrowed brow and possibly squinting eyes. Then after the piece ended and he thanked the passers by, his voice cracked, sobbed.
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I always believe music (or any forms of art) is an expression of ideas and feelings. But these two personal accounts reminded me how true this is. Creativity might actually be most similar to an innate thing like emotions that it is to a competency/skill. These artists who are not afraid to show their emotional vulnerability through their songs made the best art. This all make me reflect myself, how can I call myself a creative person like some often refer me to, if im lacking in the emotion manifestation part?
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In Ipoh i also went to Yasmin@KongHeng, a simple but special space dedicated to the memory of late Yasmin Ahmad. I  had my fascination over some of her works that I know about but only after she passed away did I really began to learn to appreciate all the things she worked on. My room mate during college years, Zairil was a massive fan of her so thats my earliest exposure. In this ‘museum’  a collection of Yasmin’s memorabilia and some of her works on screen was showcased. An old Macintosh (allegedly was the ones of Yasmin) sat on a corner table with headphones, people can play audio files of Yasmin reading her poems. Which i did, and some things that Yasmin spoke to me, really hit home in a way thats hard to describe. One of it was about how can one begin to muster so much hatred and repulsion to someone he/she barely understand, if its not for the fact the it’s because the strengh of love.
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i really dig into math rock genre right now. To me, this is how good ideas sounds like. The odd time signatures caught my brain off guard and send it to a playtime full of riddling tunes, scrambling  and catching up with the instrumental brilliance. Math rock shows that instruments can speak and deliver some juice that vocals cant carry.
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I started to have the idea that adulthood is the courage to delve into an almost-certain financial traps of loan claws and commitments, and easing your life into it, designing your life around it, gaining some pretty interesting things while losing a lot too. But yeah, what other ways do commoners have besides joining the game and play it as wise as possible? With hardwork and the will to do whatever it takes to get whats desired, one might get the break to an exceptional success. Or, become a radical to forge a less popular path if you are happy and can be responsible with your actions. Adulthood is to become responsible.
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Good things will happen in near future.