randomproteins

When watching movies or TV series have you ever wondered the age of the characters? because I'm curious liddat and got very bothered with the lack of information addressing the matter. Some characters say Jack Peralta or Barney Stinson or Rory Gilmore did got assigned their fictional age, but a lot of characters in drama does not have one. Like in Friends. it was hinted that Ross,Joey,Chandler, Monica, Phoebe,Rachel were all supposedly living as 20-somethings in NYC - but twenty what exactly? Why I need to know? Well I think that's important in storytelling for realistic reasons but also I'm interested to draw comparison between my life experiences & accomplishments at given point of time with the 'life' narration of these characters'. Recently I watched Blood Diamond (for the umpteenth time) starred by Leonardo Dicaprio as Danny Archer, an orphan taken in by military contractors and molded to become some cunning mercenary then turned solo arms dealer cum diamonds smuggler profiting from conflicts in war-torn countries, just all round badass,and Danny Archer was 31 in the story. So I went “Damn son 31 and have gone through that shit tonne of badassery, such an eventful life. Mine looks dead pale in comparison. ”

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Food is part of cultural experience in the sense that flavors, as much as sights and sounds speak volumes about the nuances of local ways, hence it makes perfect sense for one to sample traditional delicacies when visiting new places. Simplistic example are like how Japanese delicate yet perfectionist mannerism is reflected in its execution of dishes with mild and subtle flavors, how expressive and colorful Indian culture is a personification of their punchy spices and flavorsome cuisine, and how middle eastern penchant for festivities are depicted by generous servings of food. So I was struck by a thought; What will the new food culture that consumerism force onto us today says about us in hindsight? I'm disturbed by the emerging trend which glorify oversized dessert like milkshake in a giant mug (it's a jug!) topped with cream plus sugary treats, laden with syrup, with a finishing touch that looks like someone just spilled bucketload of sugary stuff on them. “Oh, this looks like a perfectly reasonable portion according to the RDI and food pyramid yums!” said no one ever. I struggled to see the appeal in downing that much of sweetness, but maybe the hook lies partly is in the looks- instagram generation love a food that looks nice on the gram regardless of the actual taste.Many more kinds of sweet servings with 'extra' presentations as gimmick now flood the market, becoming viral via socmeds, encouraging people to indulge themselves without in considering health implictions most importantly. Gimik, gi mam.

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The other day while I was having my lunch at nearby restaurant, I notice from a distance a makcik jual tisu (or something) approaching. I am not a supporter of this practice- questionable people free to roam asking for donation; so usually I politely decline or flee the scene (to the loo) to avoid any contact at all. But as I'm preparing to face the situation, I notice there's a little kid sitting at the table next to mine with his family, whose eyes appeared to be fixated to that makcik as she went from table to table and got turned down. When the makcik arrived at the little kid's table and asked his family for some donation in exchange for a packet of tisuue, his family declined as well and the looks in the kid's as he stared at the makcik then glanced at his father then back to the makcik..his face is just..i cannot. He's seen too many disappointments already, at such tender age what he saw will shape his perception to this world. So when the makcik came to my table after that, I gave the makcik some donation to show the kid something different for a change (I make sure the kid saw that, which he did lol). For fear that the kid will lose his faith in humanity lose compassion and turned coldhearted, or possibly psychopathic serial killer who just like to see the world burn, I was pressured to donate to offer some example. What a strange kind of peer pressure. Who's peers with who anyways? Duhhh

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Imma sucker at fulfilling invitation, wedding invitations especially because it's the kind of event that gave me the sense of crippling loneliness afterwards. I'm conflicted though, between the host's anticipation for me to show up which potentially makes them happy, and my peace of mind, also the fear that if I were to get married no one's gonna spare their time to come down. Most of the time I don't attend the invitations, but now I think i've learnt a better appreciation to the concept of love as a pure and realest human experience. Love should be celebrated above all qualms. Hence I outdid myself this year, already attending more weddings that my total tally for last year. Like Beatles have said, Love is all we need.

Layl

I watched ‘Our Souls at Night’ on Netflix recently and was really taken into the movie. I think the central premise is lovely, a story about two elderly neighbors whom were widowed and living their lonesome life day in day out, almost numbed by the lack of any form of excitation whatsoever, then trying to find emotional refuge in each other then rediscovered love again late in their life (though it’s never too late for love). A beautiful story about an elderly couple, reconnecting to life to enjoy what it still has to offer, and not dying before time is due. A refreshing take from typical lovestory of young hearts. I like how intimacy was portrayed from an elderly soulmates perspective

“Nighttime are the worst” was one of the dialogue uttered early on in the movie and it’s my favorite line. When all work is done, daytime errands finished and other chores ended, and everyone dismissed back to their respective life, what remains if one are alone is a daunting reality, a silent torcher to the soul. The absence of another soul render our own somewhat soul-less, having no partner to talk to, nothing remotely social takes place, it’s a stagnant space devoid of existence, a vacuous emptiness that can feel like eternity until the sun came. Night time feels forever, getting through it will be painful and to sleep is the only way to make it bearable.

Lonely nights are indeed the worst. Hang in there, souls. Brave on.

random access memory

I went on to see one of my fav band played a special farewell show for one of its members thats going to depart from the quartet, to pursue other life directions. I was bummed by that but I guess some things in life just cannot coexist, tough decisions gotta be made. But theres always hope in future. Anyway in their last time together they really put up hell of a display, really gave their all. During the final song, they really put so much heart into it that the vibe can be felt in the room- while smashing every notes flawlessly and submitting themselves to the sound to become somewhat beasts with instruments that night, i can see tears rolling down their cheek.
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While I was in Ipoh and wandering aimlessly along Memory lane, my attention was caught by a street musician playing flute. The setup was simple, just the guy standing very still, albeit it was night time he wore black glasses and with his flute filling the air the smooth sweet tune of melancholy. Yes, the tune was beautiful but it touches my heart in a gloomy way. I was fixated right there to the experience like how the guy seemed to be very absorbed in his tune. Because behind his shades I noticed his furrowed brow and possibly squinting eyes. Then after the piece ended and he thanked the passers by, his voice cracked, sobbed.
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I always believe music (or any forms of art) is an expression of ideas and feelings. But these two personal accounts reminded me how true this is. Creativity might actually be most similar to an innate thing like emotions that it is to a competency/skill. These artists who are not afraid to show their emotional vulnerability through their songs made the best art. This all make me reflect myself, how can I call myself a creative person like some often refer me to, if im lacking in the emotion manifestation part?
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In Ipoh i also went to Yasmin@KongHeng, a simple but special space dedicated to the memory of late Yasmin Ahmad. I  had my fascination over some of her works that I know about but only after she passed away did I really began to learn to appreciate all the things she worked on. My room mate during college years, Zairil was a massive fan of her so thats my earliest exposure. In this ‘museum’  a collection of Yasmin’s memorabilia and some of her works on screen was showcased. An old Macintosh (allegedly was the ones of Yasmin) sat on a corner table with headphones, people can play audio files of Yasmin reading her poems. Which i did, and some things that Yasmin spoke to me, really hit home in a way thats hard to describe. One of it was about how can one begin to muster so much hatred and repulsion to someone he/she barely understand, if its not for the fact the it’s because the strengh of love.
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i really dig into math rock genre right now. To me, this is how good ideas sounds like. The odd time signatures caught my brain off guard and send it to a playtime full of riddling tunes, scrambling  and catching up with the instrumental brilliance. Math rock shows that instruments can speak and deliver some juice that vocals cant carry.
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I started to have the idea that adulthood is the courage to delve into an almost-certain financial traps of loan claws and commitments, and easing your life into it, designing your life around it, gaining some pretty interesting things while losing a lot too. But yeah, what other ways do commoners have besides joining the game and play it as wise as possible? With hardwork and the will to do whatever it takes to get whats desired, one might get the break to an exceptional success. Or, become a radical to forge a less popular path if you are happy and can be responsible with your actions. Adulthood is to become responsible.
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Good things will happen in near future.