STGOOMS

Im having some of the strangest dreams lately, i think it’s because of the chilly weather sweeping across the country right now. Usually i don’t remember my dreams much (if any at all) but the ones these time around i was pretty lucid. Weird ass mind play. Wonder what comes up next.

Im experiencing a potential loss of function. I have this special role in personal life that i really appreciate but right now i think theres interest from other party for that & some more invasive tricks applied & now i think im somewhat got displaced because of my more peaceful calm approach. Im contemplating a move to regain (or re earn) the particular position, but truthfully whats most important to me is for the role to be served well & address and solve the problem- whether it’s me or anyone else doing it, thats secondary. Best man wins.

Another sticky situation arise at work but im okay not overwhelmed no more. By now im used to them and already accepted the fact that each are learning grounds for everyone. It’s not easy to maintain order and harmony in a group of people so glitches should be expected but with every differently delicate case, theres a different approach to address them. I kinda like the process, often i mentally narrate whats happening before my eyes like the voice in documentary to obtain deeper grasp in these souls point of view. Lol

Sometimes i feel like i like some pretty faces i regularly see. To make certain of that i interrogate my feelings by switching the environment. When i went to my other environment where i mingle and spend time with some other beautiful ladies, turned out for a while i forgot about the crush. Then i know that the feelings is not worth pursuing, merely a sensation due to fixation. Because ive experienced real love before and i still remember how it tastes like, u cannot shake off the wonderful thought of her even for a moment. Ah, to be fixated to a person, an idea, anything is often a bad idea because u r like a stagnant pool of water, and emotion flow can be misleading in such situation. It’s only wise to fix your life onto something after u have expanded the depth n breadth of options n coming to a decision.

What an exciting time right now. Figuring out life and what to make out of this limited time. Future investment, financial planning, personal passion and happiness, security & stability, fluidity & freedom, lalalala

Git gud people

Pesen

I sincerely believe that fashion can be an outlet of self expression. What one chooses to wear can represent so much more than what meets the eye- an ideology, a movement, a culture etc.

But i think in that sense fashion, particularly the trends that fuel consumerism- is a ‘make or break’ ordeal. To successfully pull a look, one gotta go all in with what’s required. All the components eg top & bottom wear, and perhaps accessories too need to go along. If you mismatch or only go partial, it’s gonna look strange.

And the central utmost important component above all garments & pieces, is the substance of the wearer. Because self expression thru fashion means that outfits become an extension of what’s inside. So eventough one managed to nail it for what to wear, attitude  cannot lie so everything still can look misplaced, confusing. Macam bila penyanyi lagu jiwang leleh tapi dress up rockstar, orang bimbo tapi dress up sofistikated, orang berumur tapi dressup kurang sesuai dengan usia, dll. 

Theres no simple formula. Rule of thumb, to dress comfortably & practically. Dont be what u are not (anymore), pretentious bastard. Or, fuck it. Just dress whatever way u want and really own it, be responsible for your action though.

Why im writing about fashion when im not the most fashionable being per se? Idk im just exploring the thought i have while in the midst of spring cleaning & renewing my wardrobe kahkahhhh. 

Orang kata kalau dah elok, pakai apa pon nampak elok. Kalau muka koyak badan tak cantik, pakailah perfect macam mana nampak pelik. Orang kata lah.

remember me

For many years I’ve been pursuing a simple idea of living- Just carry on with your plan even without the company of anyone else. It’s not like I despise group activities, I love spending time with friends. But I love doing justice to myself by expressing its original thought and vision too. Not to mention we all like it a little different, just like how I sometimes have my own likings and preferences in experiencing things. From finding food to enjoying movies to going to gigs/concerts to travelling the world and etcetera, a special switch got flipped when u follow just yourself. I had a lot of noteworthy stories great moments epic adventures from all solo trips. They're deeply intimate, thoughtfully personal, sometimes sentimental even. Maybe that’s why I kept it all so close to me, I don’t publicly share accounts or photos of these memories on social medias because of a complex perception on socmeds that I have (not going to elaborate). So all these meaningful memories is only limited to my knowledge. It’s life experience.

But I watched the movie COCO three times, mind you. That’s how much I liked the animation. Apart from the musical treat and lovely theme that hook me in, I was struck by an idea that was central in the storytelling. It’s about the concept of existing- one is perceived as real and exists when he/she is remembered by others. And the action of remembering, is of course capitalizes on some memories of time spent together. If people around you don’t have any recollections or experience with you in their life that they can remember, that really kinda make you less-exist in the plane of perception isn’t it? You don’t leave any impact on others, or any mark on this world. When you disappear, you really disappear because no one got much to recall anyways. I kinda think that make sense somehow.

So after coco, I renewed my outlook on life to spend more time doing stuffs with friends. And I did several major group-intense activities already in a short period of time, I think its impressive lol. But life things happen that’s gonna make even more friends unavailable to hang out as much anymore (getting hitched). So either I need to add more new friends, or settling down myself, or maybe just both? Either way- Let’s go.