HT

Now entering second half of the year, I'm taking a look back.

I think pretty much have went down, felt some interesting feelings (for all its worth), done some notable things. And made some big decisions.

In the first half of this year I secured the purchase of my 1^st house due completion in 2020. Got some savings-investment portfolios set up. In other words, got into systematic debts lol.

Also finally getting myself sorted out about some laws that I've been breaking for too long (and keep getting away with it lol). 

The challenge now is to try read the future and prepare/equip myself for what I can foresee lies ahead. Need to be wise and responsible, to live within my means.

I regard these moves as big decisions because they are serious commitments, financially speaking. As for the other kind of serious commitments I'm gearing towards that too. I'm not doing these just for myself.

Keeping my shit together, getting my acts right. Next phase of life is starting.

way to go

What is the best way to go?

“The best way to go is by doing what we love”.

I kinda subscribe to that idea for so long. Because “life is so short so might as well milk it for all it's worth”. So whenever I read in the news some bikepacker lost his life in a road accident while cycling around the world, or about an activist who got caught in a cross-fire and died while in a humanity mission volunteering in a war-torn country, or an alpinist died while summiting Everest; I can deal with the news. Yes it's unfortunate, but the deceased were probably passionately living life doing his/her vocation so that's a big consolation kan?  Some might say it's reckless, but the process must have given a lot of joy also I believe a lot of thoughts must have been put through before the road is taken. All the risk assessment, weighing down options, preparatory and precautionary stuffs and what not.

But how about in cases where what we love actually deteriorates our health? Is it a wasteful illusion, a unworthy choice, poorly taken decision? Like substance abuse/addiction, bad eating habit, or even toxic relationships with a lover that seeps away peace of mind?

Some people that I care about have health conditions related to unhealthy choices they made when they were younger. Time and time again I try to suggest corrective measures, persuade them to take action for their own good. But that's the tricky part, changing lifestyle requires godly determination- it's hard. And it's very personal, if I went too close they got mad at me 'nagging'. Yes I want them to be happy, but if their happiness is unhealthy choices- I wonder how far can I dispute.

I'm undecided. On one hand it does feel like it's individual full right to pursue personal happiness but is it really worth compromising something as irreversible as health? Quality of life is subjected to both.

In this world they're gonna be a lot of things other people do that we are not gonna agree with. And we can't do shit to effectively change the course of most of them, other than become stressed out disagreeing. What we can change is ourselves as a functional unit of mankind, and our choices to follow what we identify and agree with. In that sense life is very individualistic, almost selfish.

Storm in the teacup

Just an actual photo of me shaking off dejection and bad thoughts

nzlqrn

Holy Quran 2:185


The month of Ramadhan [is that] in which was revealed the Qur'an, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion.


Tbh i’m a confused mess & still figuring out this life. Sometimes feels clueless like Jon Snow lel. Scrutinizing practices and often left half convinced with the answers. What more is there beyond what we can perceive? Agnostic at best idk. But i learn that without any sense of direction i’ll be bouncing all over the place,lost, tired, unsettled. Mans need pointers for the peace of mind. This faith is compass that I choose to hold, (try) to believe. 

Quran as a source of reassurement.

Salam nuzul quran 1439h.