Whenever
i feel fucked up by life i swear almost immediately i can hear David
Attenborough’s voice in the background, narrating my thought process
& elaborating how i behave through the shitty happenings. Then i
don’t feel as miserable anymore & quickly snap out of it
A
friend of mine recently speaks out how she felt ‘childish’ and
‘immature’ after she went someplace where she sees all other ladies
dressed up like proper career woman while she did not. Fine ladies in
fine work attire, #makeupgame strong, heels,skirts, coats & what
nots- u get the picture. I always think women just love to dress up
& will find any excuse to do so- pergi kenduri kahwin or beraya are
two popular excuses. Nothing bad with that, to look good can empower
oneself & also spread positive vibes. But i feel like telling her
that maturity is a state of mind, it always is. It’s never mere outfits
or anything you put on (or off). Good looks is a hollow shell without
substance.
Have
been dodging them agents all these while because reasons, but now
protection seems like a good idea so i fiiiiiinally got myself insured.
I’m yet to understand the full policy but did it anyway because (1)
financially literate people are all doing it must be right? (2) i trust
my agent who’s also my friend. Only qualms i have is about how insurance
companies doesn’t regard mental health as a health condition like
everything else. I strongly think this needs to change.
I haven’t yet make those big personal decisions in life I think- things where i bet againts massive odds like when choosing life partner or when buying a house. but i can say I already have my biggest regret. I can hardly wrap my head around the fact that someone’s life has ended, due to health complications from a decision made, one which i may or may not have played a role, regardless how small- in shaping. I shatters me to see how the loss affected her loved ones. I can’t even begin to describe how i too share the sorrow, and how guilty i feel. Guilt & remorse- gonna haunts me forever. I am truly sorry...
